Fun with English and Italian

This reminds me of my first German lessons at night school in the UK.


The Judge

Peter Cook knew how to really have fun with English, and how to poke fun at the establishment:-

If Friends Had Been Set in Britain

I would have simply shared this, but it was a bit rude, so I've edited it.  Visit the link at the end of the original (NSFW). 

1. The one where everything got stolen because they never locked their doors.
2. The one where they had to move because no one in their mid 20s can afford a place like that in London.
3. The one where Joey got a job in Nando’s.
4. The one where Chandler was the least sarcastic one.
5. The one with the three day hangover.
6. The one where Phoebe put on a club night in Dalston.
7. The one where they all stayed in and watched Bake Off.
8. The one where they all realised they never liked each other but it was too late to do anything about it.
9. The one where they went on holiday and were drunk by the time they got on the plane.
10. The one in Blackpool: Part I.
11. The one in Blackpool: Part II.
12. The one after Blackpool where Joey visited the GUM clinic.
13. The one where healthcare is free so Monica and Rachel didn’t have to swap identities.
14. The one where they had to stay in all weekend because of Tube maintenance work.
15. The one where secret cinema got cancelled.
16. The one where everyone was in the pub and Ross got called into work, totally messing up the rounds.
17. The one where Phoebe rode a Boris Bike.
18. The one with the rail replacement bus.
19. The other one with the three day hangover.
20. The one where no one could eat at Monica’s restaurant because it was one of the East London hipster restaurants where you couldn't book a table.
21. The one with the tube strike.
22. The one where Joey and Chandler left Ben on the Northern Line and social services were called immediately.
23. The one where Joey found Rachel on Tinder.
24. The one where Ross and Rachel were arrested for indecent exposure after having sex in the Natural History Museum.
25. The one where they didn't swap apartments because that would have been too much effort.
26. The one with all the drizzle.
27. The one where they all got fired because they were always in a coffee shop when they were meant to be at work.
28. The one where Joey didn't encounter Fergie just walking around London because that just wouldn’t happen.
29. The one where Rachel actually knew what a trifle is.
30. The one where they didin't all live two minutes away from each other because that’s not a thing.
31. The one where Monica didn't make treats for her neighbours because interacting with your neighbours is not the British way.
32. The one where Chandler moved to the other side of the country for work (but it was only 2 hours drive away so he didn’t have to move house).
33. The one with the emotional repression.
34. The one where they all had to move back to their hometowns because they couldn't afford the living costs any more.
35. The one where they all went to the pub because who on earth hangs out in a cafe all day.
36. The one where someone ordered high tea.
37. The one where Joey put the milk in first.
38. The one where they never actually saw each other because they livee in different parts of London and no-one can be bothered to travel all that way.
39. The one where they made plans to meet up, but everyone cancelled at the last minute.
40. The one with the optimistic but inevitably doomed April barbecue.
41. The one where Joey became a Police Community Support Officer.
42. The one with five Blue WKDs for ten pounds.
43. The one with the giant poking device and the subsequent restraining order and the resultant Daily Mail article about “ugly-shaming”.
44. The one where Joey’s catchphrase was, “How do you do?”
45. The one where Rachel stopped hanging out with the gang because she could get a free coffee with her Waitrose card.
46. The one where Ross fell in love with the woman who said “unexpected item in the bagging area”.
47. The one where Monica started a long-term relationship with a mustachioed older man (Guest star: Des Lynam).
48. The one where Ross was imprisoned under the Dangerous Wild Animals Act of 1976 for keeping that stupid monkey.
49. The one where self-employed Phoebe and Joey took six hours to get through to an advisor on the HMRC helpline before the January 31 self-assessment tax deadline.
50. The one where Chandler and Monica drunkenly hooked-up but never talked to each other again thanks to unprecedented awkwardness.
51. The one where Joey got his own show on London Live.
52. The one where Chandler threw up in the street.
53. The one where Ross fell asleep on the last train and ended up in Morden.
54. The one where it was actually really hot in August and everyone moaned about not having air conditioning
55. The one where everyone went days without seeing Monica — not for sinister reasons, though, she was just really busy.
56. The one where Chandler called Joey a cockscomb.
57. The one where Phoebe controversially exclaimed that she is “neither here nor there” when it comes to Marmite.
58. The one where they tried to recapture their youth: Kavos, Part I
59. The one where everything was fine.
60. The one where Rachel got her hair cut, but was too polite to tell the hairdresser she didn’t like it.
61. The one where Ross turned up at the airport in time to stop Rachel because he got the Heathrow express and it only took 15 minutes.

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