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The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. Their line had included senators, pastors, and Wall Street wizards.
They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose: how to handle that great-uncle who was executed in the electric chair. The author said not to worry, he could handle that section of history tactfully.
When the book appeared, the family turned to the section on Uncle George. There, they read, "George Smith occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a real shock."
The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...
"The secret of a happy marriage? It remains a secret."
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
"Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."
"Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!"
"A woman asked her husband to go to the video store and get Scent of a Woman. Her husband came back with A Fish Called Wanda."
Recovery Room -- Place to do upholstery
Rectum -- Nearly killed em
Scalpel -- What you stand on to clean windows in high rise buildings
Secretion -- Hiding something
Seizure -- A Roman emperor
Tablet -- A small table
Terminal illness -- Getting sick at the airport
Thalassotherophy -- Fear of the sea
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- The opposite of "you are out
Varicose -- Nearby
Vein -- Conceited
Genes -- What you wear cutting grass
Hangnail -- A coat hook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Labor pain -- Getting hurt at work
Medical staff -- A doctor's cane
Morbid -- A higher offer
Nitrates -- Cheaper than the day rate
Node -- Movement of head meaning yes
Organic -- An organ work repairman
Outpatient -- A person who has fainted
Pap Smear -- A lie about someone's father
Paralyze -- Two far fetched stories
Pelvis -- A cousin of Elvis
Pharmacist -- A person who makes living in agriculture
Phobopohobla -- Fear of phobias, or fear itself
Post-operative -- A letter carrier
Protein -- In favor of young people