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Interesting words and languages

The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...

Rules to live by

Be nice to your children, they will choose your retirement home.
Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Despite the cost of living, it's still quite popular.
The trouble with life is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired.
The aging process would be slowed if it had to work its way through the House of Lords.
You'll always have what you had 20 years ago, only it will all be a little bit lower.

Creative Writing Contest - the Winning Entry

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements:
- religion
- royalty
- sex
- mystery

The prize-winning essay read:

"My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

Nurse's Rules

Rule 1 THE NURSE IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
Rule 2 Never yell at a nurse (refer to Rule #1.)
Rule 3 Don't hit patients or doctors - unless absolutely necessary.
Rule 4 All fevers will eventually come back to normal on the way to room temperature.
Rule 5 Don't vomit on the nurse!
Rule 6 Don't vomit on the doctor!
Rule 7 All bleeding stops eventually.
Rule 8 Remember, the problem is always better than the X-ray looks.
Rule 9 Everybody has to die sometime.
Rule 10 You can't hurt a corpse.
Rule 11 Always do whatever you do best.
Rule 12 Everyone gets treated exactly the same in here ---until they piss you off.
Rule 13 To be right is only half the battle; to convince the patient is more difficult.
Rule 14 Uncommon manifestations of common diseases are more common than are uncommon diseases.
Rule 15 The pain will go away when it stops hurting.
Rule 16 Never get excited about blood loss - unless it's your own.
Rule 17 It doesn't matter what you do as long as it's right.
Rule 18 If a patient has a catheter, they need it.
Rule 19 In medicine, always remember never to say always or never.
Rule 20 Death is a severe stage of shock, or shock is a pause in the act of dying.

One-liners

1. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter.
7. It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
10. Few women admit their age; few men act it.