Featured post

Interesting words and languages

The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...

New time sheet codes

To: All Personnel
From: Finance

It has recently come to our attention that many of you have been handing in time-sheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, for accounting purposes, we need to know exactly what you are doing during this time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying an extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

This list will allow you to specify what exactly you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately.

Thank you,
CFO

Attached: Extended Job-Code List

Code and Explanation:-

5316 - Attending a useless meeting

5317 - Obstructing communications at a meeting

5318 - Trying to sound knowledgeable while in a meeting

5319 - Waiting for a break

5320 - Waiting for lunch

5321 - Waiting for end of day

5322 - Vicious verbal attacks directed at a colleague

5323 - Vicious verbal attacks directed at a colleague while colleague not present

5393 - Covering for the incompetence of a friend

5400 - Trying to explain concept to a colleague who is not interested in learning

5401 - Trying to explain concept to a colleague who is stupid

5402 - Trying to explain concept to a colleague who hates you

5481 - Buying a snack

5482 - Eating a snack

5500 - Filling out this time sheet

5501 - Inventing new time sheet entries

5502 - Waiting for something to happen

5503 - Scratching

5504 - Sleeping

5510 - Feeling Bored

5511 - Feeling randy

5600 - Complaining about lousy job

5601 - Complaining about low pay

5602 - Complaining about long hours

5603 - Complaining about a colleague (See Codes #5322 & #5323)

5604 - Complaining about lousy boss

5605 - Complaining about personal problems

5640 - Miscellaneous unproductive complaining

5701 - Not actually present at job

5702 - Suffering from 8 hour flu

6102 - Ordering a take away

6103 - Waiting for food delivery to arrive

6104 - Taking it easy while digesting food

6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit

6201 Stealing Company Goods

6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods

6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls

6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods

6205 Hiding from Boss

6206 Gossip

6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)

6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself

6211 Updating Resume

6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter

6213 Out of Office on Interview

6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching

6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job

6223 Pretending You Like Coworker

6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks

6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing

6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl

6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)

6602 Complaining

6603 Writing a Book on Company Time

6611 Staring Into Space

6612 Staring At Computer Screen

6615 Transcendental Meditation

7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)

7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone

7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone

7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone

7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone

7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone

7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone

7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone

7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone

7425 Talking With Mistress/Toy-Boy on Phone

7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity

8000 Recreational Drug Use

8001 Non-recreational Drug Use

8002 Liquid Lunch

8100 Reading e-mail