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Interesting words and languages

The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...

What not to put in your job application

"I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization."

Means: I've used Microsoft Office.

"I'm honest, hard-working and dependable."

Means: I pilfer office supplies.

"My pertinent work experience includes..."

Means: I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.

"I take pride in my work."

Means: I blame others for my mistakes.

"I'm personable."

Means: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to colleagues.

"I'm extremely professional."

Means: I carry a briefcase.

"I am adaptable."

Means: I've changed jobs a lot.

"I am always on the go."

Means: I'm never at my desk.

Road Trip

Today many teens and young adults in the west see a road trip as a rite of passage, their first solo journey from home, frequently to other countries. It is the idea of shedding parental bonds and taking that great leap out on one’s own that attracts many young men and women to saddle up and head out on the open road. This is due in part to the feeling of freedom some people get when traveling the open roads.

There's a small problem with this road trip though.

New word?

To Pronk - Pronked - Pronking

Corporate lingo

Here's a little clarification of corporate lingo.

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:

We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress well.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:

You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:

We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED:

Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

APPLY IN PERSON:

If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:

We've actually filled the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:

You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES LEADERSHIP SKILLS:

You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you, figure out what they actually want you to do.

You know you're at University when (81 - 97)

81. You fill out credit card applications for the free food.

82. You've eaten cereal out of a cup... with a fork.

83. Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again.

84. You know at least one person who has dropped his/her cell phone or camera into a toilet.

85. You hang multiple shirts/blouses on the same hanger to save space/money.

86. You become increasingly annoyed with the "old" people in class - kudos to them for going back to college but they generally ask really, really annoying questions.

87. You admire people's alcohol bottle shrines.

88. You set your clock 5-10 minutes ahead so you can potentially make it to class on time.

89. You check ratemyprofessor.com (or something of the like) before choosing your class schedule.

90. You can text faster than you can type.

91. You only find out a class is cancelled after you get there and sit for about ten minutes.

92. You actually start using shopping coupons.

93. You open canned food and eat it... out of the can.

94. You run out of black ink and, instead of buying a new ink cartridge, decide blue is a nice substitute... adds a little flair.

95. You have numbers in your phone with labels like “Sketchy Steve” and “Alcohol Guy.”

96. The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother.

97. You have finished reading this and are now wondering how you can procrastinate further.