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Interesting words and languages

The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...

Hey Little Kitty



"I got this little kitty about 2 months back
he was the nicest little kitty, now a pain in my crack
This little kitty is a ninja, always stalking my feet
This little kitty is a warrior you know what I mean.

he's an evil little kitty look what he did to my hand
tries to get in trouble in any way that he can
I could give this cat a toy, but he'd rather have the wrapper
and I will always give him water, but he still drinks from the crapper.

You could lock him in a closet and he just won't care
kitty chews on my shoes and he licks my hair
always scratching on my favorite chair and jumping on the couch
playing in the window sills and tearing through the house.

He's so full of energy and easily amused
kitty will attack anything that moves
Causing trouble, starting battles just so he could be a little part of
he's a meanest little kitty so we named him Sparta.

Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite bite bite?
Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite bite bite?
Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite bite bite?
Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite?

Where'd you go
are you stalking me?
are you under the couch, quite possibly
ears laid back so you don't get caught
ready to pounce my leg with everything that you got.

I know you're probably watching me from across the room
concentrating contemplating on attacking me soon
You're not invisible kitty, I'm gonna find you first
Come out come out before I make things worse.

I've seen where you hide and I know where you've been
Hey kitty why don't you give in
Even if you try to sneak up on me, I'm prepared
Cause I've got my safety gear on and I'm not scared.

I think I hear a kitty cat under the bed
I know your making noises just to mess with my head
You can stalk me all you want, but I'm not your prey
cause you always seem to find me first, but not today.

Hey little sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite bite bite
Hey little sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite bite bite
Hey little sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite bite bite
Hey little sparta what is with all the fight
Come on out, I'm gonna get you now.

I've got 'em cornered
and now he's mine
He's not gonna get away this time
I'll snatch him up fast before he can blink and then...
Aw man! He's asleep in the sink.

What is with this cat? I'm confused
He's got a bed, but it's never been used
In every waking moment, kitty's out for the fight
then [fart] next minute kitty's out like a light.

How could I let this creature live inside of my home
I gotta keep an eye on him when I'm on the phone
I'm a little afraid to leave this cat all alone
this kitty may destroy everything that I own.

Look at him now, I kinda feel bad
He's the best little cat that I've had
and the one big thing I forgot to mention, was that
He wasn't fighting, he just wanted attention.

Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite bite bite
Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite bite bite
Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight
little bitty kitty wanna bite bite bite
Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight
showing love, that's all this kitty does"

An IQ test

1. A plane is traveling from America to Canada, unfortunately just as it reaches the border it crashes. Where should they bury the survivors, in America, or in Canada?

2. It's mid-winter and there is a strong wind blowing from the north. In which direction are the leaves being blown?

3.
You're the driver of a bus. You stop at a corner and pick up 3 people. At the second stop 2 people get off and 5 people get on. At the next stop 7 people get on and 4 people get off. At the fourth stop, 7 people get on and 6 people get off. Finally, at the last stop, 3 people get on and 5 people get off. How old is the bus driver?

4.
Which is correct: Five and four are eight, or five and four is eight?

5.
How many members of each type of animal did Moses take on the ark?

6.
There is a yellow bungalow, everything in it is yellow. The doors are yellow, the walls are yellow, the sofa is yellow, even the fridge is yellow. What colour are the stairs?


See below for the answers:-



















1 - You don't bury survivors.

2 - It's mid-winter, there are no leaves on the trees.

3 - Whatever age you are. You are the bus driver.

4 - Neither. Five and four equals nine, not eight.



5 - None. Moses didn't bring any animals onto the ark, it was Noah.


6 - There are no stairs in a bungalow.



MSN vs Google



Google:
Your new system hasn't gotten many users
They only use Vista cuz it came on their computers.
Step to me - I'll wrestle you blue
My dyslexic fans, they call me "El Goog"
Well connected - I got crazy links
S-E-O just means what Google thinks
Smart people, they wanna work for me
That's why I jack you for your employees.
Gmails got females - on fire like foxes
I'm six gigs deep, up in their inboxes
Search market share: 4% you
68 me. This battle rap is through

MSN:
Somebody say MSN! MSN!
You bought You Tube for 2 billion bucks
He bought You Tube, the search still sucks
Your icon's a joke - it's just a doodle
Your name sounds like a baby retard poodle.
Your net apps - they're slow- they don't work,
Nobody uses them, they go for the search.
I own your platform, I own IE,
I own all degrees of the game, 360
You steal my people? Here's the stor-y
I buy Facebook and jack your employees.
You might have users, but they'll soon be leavin' ya
cuz your search results say search Wikipedia.

What not to say to a policeman

Hey, you must’ve been doing’ about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!

I'm sorry, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a policeman.

Would you mind holding my beer while I find my driver’s license?

You know, I was going to be a policeman, but I decided to finish college instead.

You’re NOT going to check the boot, are you?

That’s terrific. The policeman yesterday only gave me a warning too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at Burger King?

Call Centre Conversations

Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't know who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think jack means the telephone point on the wall'.

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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

-----------------------

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel
to the other side of the car?'

-----------------------

Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.

-----------------------

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland'.

-----------------------

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.

-----------------------

Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'

-----------------------

Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.

-----------------------

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual
dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a see-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them that you're too effing stupid to own a computer!'

How's Norma?

This is allegedly a true story from my friend James:

An old woman telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'

The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help. What's the name and room number?' The old lady in her weak tremulous voice said, ' Norma Findlay , Room 302.' the operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse'.

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Oh, I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.'

The grandmother, said, 'Thank you so much. That's wonderful news. I was so worried! God bless you.' The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?'

The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in room 302. No one tells me anything!'