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Interesting words and languages

The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...

The story of the 7-legged spider

I don't suggest anyone do this, and I'm not sure if it's really a true story, but it should be. You can see the drawings on his web site. Used with permission.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

Attachment - Drawing of a 7-legged spider

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,

You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attachment - Drawing of a 7-legged spider



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,

Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,

Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards,

David


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello,

I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb omission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards,

David

Attachment - Drawing of an 8-legged spider (suspiciously like the first one, with an extra leg drawn on.)

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lieu of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheques, bank cheques, money orders or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely,

Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definitely make a payment this week, if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards,

David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?


Attachment - Drawing of an 8-legged spider

(The story doesn't end here. Seemingly the email attachment was subsequently sold on eBay for $15,000! Full story here.)

His Father's Son

Don't lose your head


don't lose your head
Originally uploaded by Cryptik
To lose your head can mean to not have control of your emotions or to suddenly become very angry or upset.


But this is a government advertisement, uploaded by Cryptik, warning people to stay alert when using your card to get money or pay for something. See the rest of the woman in the background and the guy behind her trying to get a look at her code.

Actually, that woman could be me, going all big-eyed on seeing all that candy. ;-D

10 Commandments of Computer Use

From the Computer Ethics Institute, Washington D.C.

  1. Thou shalt not use a computer to harm other people
  2. Thou shalt not interfere with other people's computer work
  3. Thou shalt not snoop around in other people's computer files
  4. Thou shalt not use a computer to steal
  5. Thou shalt not use a computer to bear false witness
  6. Thou shalt not copy or use proprietary software for which you have not paid
  7. Thou shalt not use other people's computer resources without authorization or proper compensation
  8. Thou shalt not appropriate other people's intellectual output
  9. Thou shalt think about consequences of the program you are writing or the system you are designing
  10. Thou shalt always use a computer in ways that ensure consideration and respect for your fellow humans.

You know you're suffering from technological overload when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that you don't have their e-mail address.

6. You pull up outside the house and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the shopping.

7. Every ad on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to mail this link to.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

Post Election Partum

So now what? That's what lots of Obama supporters are left wondering.

Do I look like a grocery item to you, you keep on checking me out!

To check something out has various meanings:-

It can mean to settle your bill before leaving a hotel etc.

For example: I had to check out of the room at 6am!

It can also mean to withdraw (an item) after recording the withdrawal.

For example: One duty of a librarian is to check out books.

Then it may mean to record and total up the prices of and receive payment for (items being purchased) at a retail store.

For example: The cashier checked out and bagged my shopping.

It can also mean to investigate, examine, or look at.

For example: The police checked out his story.

But to check someone out can mean to look at someone of the opposite sex with interest, which is the implication here.

!Note - to check out is also slang for dying.

For example: I'm not ready to check out any time soon.

Sarah Palin Prank Call

I just couldn't resist sharing this prank call made to Republican Sarah Palin, want to be Vice President of the USofA.



Here's the transcript:-

Sarah Palin: This is Sarah.
Masked Avengers: Ah, yeah, Gov. Palin.
Palin: Hello.
Avengers: Just hold on for President Sarkozy, one moment.
Palin: Oh, it's not him yet, they're saying. I always do that.
Avengers: Yes, hello, Gov. Palin.
Palin: Hello, this is Sarah, how are you?
AVENGERS: Fine, and you? This is Nicolas Sarkozy speaking, how are you?
PALIN: Oh, it's so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us.
AVENGERS: Oh, it's a pleasure.
PALIN: Thank you sir, we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I. We love you and thank you for taking a few minutes to talk to me.
AVENGERS: I follow your campaigns closely with my special American adviser Johnny Hallyday, you know?
PALIN: Yes, good.
AVENGERS: Excellent. Are you confident?
PALIN: Very confident and we're thankful that polls are showing that the race is tightening and...
AVENGERS: Well I know very well that the campaign can be exhausting. How do you feel right now, my dear?
PALIN: I feel so good. I feel like we're in a marathon and at the very end of the marathon you get your second wind and you plow to the finish.
AVENGERS: You see, I got elected in France because I'm real and you seem to be someone who's real, as well.
PALIN: Yes, yeah. Nico, we so appreciate this opportunity.
AVENGERS: You know I see you as a president one day, too.
PALIN: Maybe in eight years.
AVENGERS: Well, I hope for you. You know, we have a lot in common because personally one of my favourite activities is to hunt, too.
PALIN: Oh, very good. We should go hunting together.
AVENGERS: Exactly, we could try go hunting by helicopter like you did. I never did that. Like we say in French, on pourrait tuer des bebe phoque s, aussi [translation: we can kill baby seals also].
PALIN: Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together while we're getting work done. We can kill two birds with one stone that way.
AVENGERS: I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun. I'd really love to go, so long as we don't bring along Vice-President Cheney.
PALIN: No, I'll be a careful shot, yes.
AVENGERS: Yes, you know we have a lot in common also, because except from my house I can see Belgium. That's kind of less interesting than you.
PALIN: Well, see, we're right next door to different countries that we all need to be working with, yes.
AVENGERS: Some people said in the last days and I thought that was mean that you weren't experienced enough in foreign relations and you know that's completely false. That's the thing that I said to my great friend, the prime minister of Canada Stef Carse.
PALIN: Well, he's doing fine, too, and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder.
AVENGERS: I was wondering because you are so next to him, one of my good friends, the prime minister of Quebec, Mr. Richard Z. Sirois, have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies?
PALIN: I haven't seen him at one of the rallies but it's been great working with the Canadian officials. I know as governor we have a great co-operative effort there as we work on all of our resource-development projects. You know, I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife. Oh my goodness, you've added a lot of energy to your country with that beautiful family of yours.
AVENGERS: Thank you very much. You know my wife Carla would love to meet you, even though you know she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today.
PALIN: Well, give her a big hug for me.
AVENGERS: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former top model and she's so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.
PALIN: Oh my goodness, I didn't know that.
AVENGERS: Yes, in French it's called de rouge a levre sur un cochon [translation: lipstick on a pig], or if you prefer in English, Joe the Plumber...it's his life, Joe the Plumber.
PALIN: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plow through that criticism.
AVENGERS: I just want to be sure. I don't quite understand the phenomenon Joe the Plumber. That's not your husband, right?
PALIN: That's not my husband but he's a normal American who just works hard and doesn't want government to take his money.
AVENGERS: Yes, yes, I understand we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France. It's called Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit.
PALIN: Right, that's what it's all about, the middle class and government needing to work for them. You're a very good example for us here.
AVENGERS: I see a bit about NBC, even Fox News wasn't an ally as much as usual.
PALIN: Yeah, that's what we're up against.
AVENGERS: Gov. Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life. You know Hustler's Nailin' Paylin?
PALIN: Ohh, good, thank you, yes.
AVENGERS: That was really edgy.
PALIN: Well, good.
AVENGERS: I really loved you and I must say something also, governor, you've been pranked by the Masked Avengers. We are two comedians from Montreal.
PALIN: Ohhh, have we been pranked? And what radio station is this?
AVENGERS: CKOI in Montreal.
PALIN: In Montreal? Tell me the radio station call letters.
AVENGERS: CK...hello?

Notes

Johnny Hallyday (born Jean-Philippe Smet) is a French singer and actor. An icon in the French-speaking world since the beginning of his career, he is considered by some to be the French equivalent of Elvis Presley.

Stef Carse is a Canadian pop and country singer from Quebec, not the prime minister of Canada.

Note for Ms Palin: Stephen Harper is the current Prime Minister (has been since 2006). Now I have to admit, I didn't know this, but I would have had the grace to admit it.

Credit Crunch Mergers

Thanks to James for this:-

For anyone with any money left, take a look at the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor:-

Watch for these consolidations in late 2008 or early 2009:


1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become:

HaleMaryFullerGrace

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros. and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
PolyWarnerCracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor UPS and become:
FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!

And finally....

9. Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang