1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.
3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)
5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot', which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on No. 7).
7. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying, "F-- YOU!"
8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to No. 4.
9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine".
Send this link to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
Send this link to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, because we know it's true!
(Thanks to James for sending me this.)
115 comments:
I love this list. It is my very own language..
I love this list...it's me! Just ask my husband.
Mine too. ;)
gross
This is why men beat their wives.
Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human.
This isn't like me at all. It's passive-aggressive and cliche.
isnt question eights end line "refer to No. 3." meant to be No.4. ?? Go ahead does not seem the thing my wife would say....she would sigh and then have a go !
Do you have my house bugged? Seriously, you're spot-on! I'm forwarding this to my hubby.
Great!
And to Anonymous & Johnson, I understand you want a woman that communicates with you without beating around the bush. I'd really like a man that actually communicates! :o)
"Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth
Not even close to being anything like me. I hate women like this...
what all the pretense here? some women are like this and some are not. This doesn't make the women who are better than those who are not and vice versa. Everyone has differing ways of communicating. There's nothing wrong with that. So its odd to hate someone simply because that person communicates differently from you.
I.J., communication implies that you are using a language that both parties understand. These statements are used mainly to misdirect or cloud the truth. Anyone who is proud of being like this should really look at them selves in the mirror and ask why they just can't say what they want instead of being cryptic about it. And women wonder why men misunderstand them so much...
All the women who said they aren't like this are full of shit. Wait till you have a boyfriend/husband whatever. Then you'll realize just how alike you actually will be to this.
I'm not like this, and while I don't have a boyfriend, I've had boyfriends. Not all women are so complicated and have double meaning to everything.
I find myself...yes occasionally using this type of "word play", but the men that are leaving the snappy comments have to realize that women say these things sometimes because they know their husband's way of communication. If the husband is not the communicative type, why bother trying to talk in the first place? Why is it always the women blamed for this problem? My husband NEVER communicates with me the way I'd like, but that is his way. He communicates to me in his own way, that I've learned. I am ok with it. He knows that when I make remarks similar to these, that when I am ready I will come to him to discuss the problem. Men are just as problematic in communication issues as women. We all have flaws, no perfection in humans. Where is the understanding, acceptance of differences, the love for one another?
I'm so like this and so are most women. It's not that hard of a code to crack actually. Just watch a woman's body language when she does it. It's not that women are trying to fuck with your head or something when they do this.
My theory is women have developed this code b/c men have told them they are crazy, too emotional, talk too much, and express their feelings too much.
That's why women are only good as flesh sheaths for a man's love stick. They objectify themselves by being worthless.
I apply to about half of these. Nothing occasionally means something but usually just means I don't want to talk about it, it isn't indefinitely "a calm before the storm"
I know some males who are like this also so I guess the men should shut up and see what sexist pigs they are at times
Reasons to be gay.
""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for super truth
Sorry to hear so many of you folks out there have mates who are such passive-aggressive, manipulative jerks.
My wife is awesome.
*shrug*
i think that when women "communicate"
this way it's nearing the end of the relationship...
Isn't this supposed to be light hearted? What's with the dead serious discussion? Carry on, if you can't relate to it.
Luckily I've never had a girl like this, I guess I just make sure I date nice girls. I feel sorry for guys who have girls like that
The intent may have been "light hearted" but the article is rank with the self indulgent passive aggressive bull**** that it playfully describes.
Stereotypes are usually based in some truth. You can't apply them to all members of a group. In this case, a good portion of women do communicate like this. Me included.
If women realised that they know absolutely nothing about men - to the same extent that men accept the fact they know nothing about women - there would be a lot fewer inter-gender arguments, wife beating and domestic violence.
Unfortunately women are a LOT more verbally vicious than men and do not understand that when a man walks away he is admitting defeat by not resorting to physical violence, NOT asking for some stupid bitchy insult about something he did ten years ago to be shouted at his back. It virtually guarantees violence because it is a MASSIVE effort for a guy to shut up and walk away, admitting he lost.
""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for super truth""
Triple quoted for the divine truth.
Thanks god I'm gay!
Stupid brainwashing crap created to confuse gender relations. Tired, and cliche. Really, who propagates this crap? Men who expect this kind of behavior from women deserve the kind of women who display it. Utter BS. Thumbs down.
a little note. The 'nothing' one is a little off. It doesn't lead to an argument a lot of times. It just means that she's upset about something. That something is on her mind thats either A. The obvious, she is annoyed at you and is debating whether to tell you or not or B. She's upset about something unrelated to you and just genuinely doesn't want to bug you with her problems for once. However, she does want you to want to hear her problem. Which is why either way, you should ask whats wrong. ^^; Good luck men.
No wonder she always sign ... because I am an idiot. =)
This kind of article just muddles the true problems between humans and animals. How can we ever truely treat other species fairly if this BS word play continues? Really, who propagates this drivel? Don't all you feminists and masogonists understand?! Inter-species relationships suffer from this trash!
The problem is that men and women are wired completely different, and yes, it effects communication. Women aren't crazy - they're hormonal and to the same regard men aren't pigs their hormonal. The difference is simply which hormone.
It's true though that this is very typical verbiage used by women, but what everyone needs to see is that it's nature, genetic; whatever you want to call it. Look at kids by age 12 almost all are exhibiting typical male or female traits.
Now, to everyone who bitches about their relationship: Vote with your damn feet!
If you don't like the way she communicates with you then fix it. If it can't be fixed LEAVE!
Oh, to the guys who wrote about how this stems physical violence. Learn to control yourself. I feel whole heartedly that if a women decides to attack a man that she had better plan on getting it back and not scream abuse the second he does to her what she so freely did to him, but to get abusive without her first being violent with you indicates a huge lack of self control and should be treated.
We still have to share the earth and since most of us are straight we should attempt to understand the other sex better.
haha This made me and my hubby laugh, and by this I mean all you people posting these stupid serious comments about it. Shut up for once and have a good laugh. And ladies, your down right liars if you say or nothing like this :)
Oh please, gay men are much bitchier than any woman.
Fortunately men are much easier to understand. Give me a good sandwich and a better BJ and I'm all set.
""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth
Double quoted for super truth
Triple quoted for divine truth"
Quadruple quoted for universal truth
Good except for the first one "Fine" Is said when the woman THINKS she is right, and she wants the man to shut up.
I'm not saying they're always wrong, I just dislike the fact that you seemed to imply they were always right.
Nobody is exactly like anyone else. There are no hard and fast rules for people. Everything should be looked at on an individual basis, which is something most adults understand.
Luckily I've never had a girl like this, I guess I just make sure I date nice girls. I feel sorry for guys who have girls like that
Wait until you marry one.
Wow some of you men are a little intense here.. quit being such assholes!
These things are meant to be comical, even though some of it is true.. doesn't mean women TRY to play games. You act like men don't have problems with communicating/relationships too. /sigh.
im glad my gf isnt like this. when she wants to say f**k you, she says it. at least its honest haha.
""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for super truth""
Triple quoted for the divine truth.
Quad quoted for.....**head explodes**
As other anonymous people have said, it's a said and pathetic day when women succumb to stereotypical bogus like this that is the very reason why it's hard to find a real woman with substance in an ocean of automatons. you live once, don't waste your life communicating with your soul mate like this.
you know, women wouldn't have to get this way if men would only listen the 1st time and do as they are asked without screwing it up, I'm not perfect but I can follow directions and am smarter than almost every man i've ever worked with, and I mostly have worked jobs normally held by men, lumber yards, construction...
First off, i'd like to see myself as a nice girl... yet reading this list i thought to myself.... yes that's me, that too. Does that really make me a bad person, because my boyfriend doesn't seem to think that way? He has just learned that when i say certain things, i might be implying something else.
And i thought this list was supposed to be light hearted?
shut your computers off and go find a real person to have a relationship with!!!
If this is your own language, you need to learn that mean are not mind readers...get some backbone, ladies.
"""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for super truth""
Triple quoted for the divine truth."
Quadruple quoted for cosmic truth
back to the kitchen after reading this
I just wanted to add that this is NOT under any circumstances "communication" when a woman (or man) uses any of these phrases. You can call it a mis-communicaton maybe, but i would call it mis-direction. If you engage in the use of any of these terms rather then talking through your problems you are dooming yourself to a bad relationship. If you are with someone who you cant let yourself communicate properly with dont kid yourself, you arent with the right person. move on. peace.
Well this is defiantly true for your average stuck up North American Girl thats for sure. I do like what Johnson said "This is why men beat their wives."
The first three replies by Palymama, Myrna and Your Teacher made my day. Great going, girls, you have just confirmed that you are stereotypical women; walking cliches, nothing more. Congratulations. Really, we don't care if "OMG! This is, like, SOOO like me!". We just feel sorry for your (future) boyfriend/husband and hope that we never have to suffer through the pain of meeting you in person.
"you know, women wouldn't have to get this way if men would only listen the 1st time and do as they are asked without screwing it up, I'm not perfect but I can follow directions and am smarter than almost every man i've ever worked with, and I mostly have worked jobs normally held by men, lumber yards, construction..."
You're precisely the kind of contemptible, neo-fem shrew that this list unintentionally bashes.
Why are you women so proud for being like this? It's hateful and rude.
I'm frightenend by the number of women who think it's perfectly alright to communicate this way, and giggle because it's "cute". Unless they're married to the perfect wimp, their relationships are in jeopardy.
Just to keep the playing field level, guys have their own set of communication errors which are just as threatening to a solid relationship.
Try open, honest communication instead: both parties. Watch your relationship move to the next level of intimacy and strength.
You stole some of this material
You can't forget the "if you want..." meaning if you don't do it she will make you feel guilty about it forever.
Really people? Come on...
I do this to my husband sometimes and it is not meant as mis-direction or something hateful. It's more about not wanting to tell him how I feel about the same thing over and over.
And I think any man that has been with the same woman for more than a couple years already knows exactly what she means when she sighs and when she says 'fine'.
I know my husband does. Because these ways of expression don't define our whole relationship. We still talk about how we feel and how we can work to make our marriage even better.
We just don't do that every day. Sometimes you're just to tired to argue over the laundry or how much tv he watches. Why say everything you've already said before, when you can get the same message through with a sigh?
Just my 2 cents. And I'm sure that others will now criticize my relationship and how we make things work in my house ;)
I've had it. im stealing and incorporating these into my vocab. bucking fitches won't know what hit em.
* This is why men beat their wives.
* Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies.
* All the women who said they aren't like this are full of shit.
and the Pig Prize goes to:
* That's why women are only good as flesh sheaths for a man's love stick. They objectify themselves by being worthless.
And now go and be ashamed of yourself!
Just laugh. Why would you bother yourself and other by those negative comments. There are always reasons. It made me laugh too. :)
Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. It doesn't matter if you win, your still retarded.
This list is an example of why when asked by my nephew for advise about life (I think it was a school project), I told him, "Always keep your relationships with women on a strictly cash basis."
I know that there is in fact a "language barrier" between men and women, and this list is in my opinion, a potential best selling paper-back titled "Women for DUMMIES"
I can say this is quite true. If my ex would have had this decoder, things may have turned out very differently.
I may be the only woman who doesn't do this. I actually speak my mind when there is a problem. I find it makes my relationships much easier.
Yup. I occassionaly use these words. In my experience men aren't great at expressing themselves. My guy is not a "talker". Women know what I mean by this, I think.
Maybe we've created shortcuts to accomodate the men in our lives. Or, maybe to accomodate ourselves. Who knows & with respect, who really cares. In the big picture we will either work it out or not.
I only say these things when I'm being sarcastic and joking around. Otherwise, the real meanings seem to work so much better in not letting all hell break loose.
The list was funny, but the comments were funnier.
"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. It doesn't matter if you win, your still retarded."
Also, lol @ this.
So I swear I went to read this thinking, "I bet no real woman would actually say these things." and it turns out I say all of them. ;D Men go easy on us, half the time we barely realize it (I know I don't). It's just the female way.
"you know, women wouldn't have to get this way if men would only listen the 1st time and do as they are asked without screwing it up, I'm not perfect but I can follow directions and am smarter than almost every man i've ever worked with, and I mostly have worked jobs normally held by men, lumber yards, construction..."
You know, relationships are supposed to be give and take. Maybe the men aren't screwing up, just doing it differently than you would. And just because everything isn't getting done exactly on your schedule doesn't mean it's not getting done. And most men try to say what they mean, and aren't always in tune to 'body language' and that's the way they expect people to communicate with them. It seems what we have here is a case of miscommunication.
wow. very well defined. yeah, you may think women aren't that complicated. some really aren't. some REALLY are.
it depends on the woman.
so really, it's useless if you try to express your disagreement... we all know this seriously applies to some female in our life.
People realize that this is supposed to be funny, and it does that by taking a nugget of truth and exploiting a stereotype. Relax, enjoy, take like it was meant to be read. Not like so decleration of absolute truth. lol, if you cant enjoy the humor and are too serious, step back and ask yourself what happened to my sense of humor? Enjoy the rest of your day!
I'm shocked, what kind of women are living on this planet's surface!
And some are not ashamed to post this here!
If you don't behave yourself like humans, you don't need to be surprised, if you won't treated like humans!
Great stuff LOL
...and people have asked me why I'm gay...
W00T my LOLZ haz a cheezburger has bean 2 PHOTOSHOPED! N00BS ROLF THIS IS THE END OF INRNETZ111 I AM SOMEHOW PESONALY INVOLVED IN THIS STORY/THREAD/PicTuRE111
Oh my freaking God! You must be married to my wife too! Not that I'm going to try arguing about it with her....
http://fullonredfrog.com - The underbelly of Fatherhood in Suburbia
Seems as though a lot people have no sense of humor. Jeez.
Absolutely Funny Stuff!!!
Oh geez. Men, if your wife/gf verbalized every thought or request they had to you completely and directly, you couldn't handle it. Women have more complex thought processes than you men. We're wired to consider the emotional, relational, consequential, financial, etc. nuances of everything that happens in a day! You don't want to hear it, you can't handle it, and that's why we SIGH!! (And that's why I'm single by choice. Step up, men.)
""""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for super truth""
Triple quoted for the divine truth."
Quadruple quoted for cosmic truth"
C-c-c-c-combo Breaker!!! (But still true.)
lol. This is entertaining to read. And I'm not talking about the article. It's amazing how people can get in huff and puff over something so simple. Something they're not likely to remember in few minutes after moving to a new page.
Advice for the day: "Don't take life to seriously, you never get out of it alive" (so many people have been quoted by this so I don't know who to give the honors to.)
Good day everyone. Have a good laugh today.
This isn't entirely true, but ultimately hilarious to a fellow female. I do use such words myself, but not in such context, although if you do cross me you are bound to get a lashing (I learned this art from my mother). However, over all, I am pretty much the same in every corner of me, so...
Just remember not all of us follow the stereotype of women being all too moody.
I am not offended by this page of words, as some of you who commented happen to have done.
My message is, learn to laugh, you insane feminists. I may be a girl, but I absolutely hate feminists. Especially those of you who ended up eMailing this author and tore him to pieces, mainly just reiterating how moody "womankind" is.
Please, take offense to this comment if you are an insane feminist.
"Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth
Quoted for awesomeness
"""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for super truth""
Triple quoted for the divine truth."
Quadruple quoted for cosmic truth
Quoted for awesomeness
""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for double-truth
"Why are you crying?" "I don't know!" "Then knock it off." "But I can't!" "Whatever." "Don't you 'whatever' me!" Then the lamp leaves the nightstand and hits the wall and it's all downhill from there.
You people are retarded. Men are dumb and chicks are crazy. We all know that. If you women want to be really pissed off got to http://slimspickin.blogspot.com/ or http://tastym.blogspot.com/ and you will see what men are capable of (strange but true).
Thank the sweet lord in heaven I'm gay. Reading this actually made me realize just how sexist I was.
Way to avoid problems and manipulate men with constant lies and self-righteousness.
this is only valid if youre a woman, and we all know that if youre a woman you originally came with ovaries. and if you came equipped with ovaries, you are already wrong. therefore, this is all wrong. deal with it...
@Crevan - What are you talking about? A lot of gay men are just like that too LOL.
52684"Women have more complex thought processes than you men. [...] (And that's why I'm single by choice.)"
Or maybe you're single because you're such a dysfunctional human being, with such a delusional superiority complex, that no normal, caring, socially well-adjusted man could ever relate to you, or even tolerate your presence. But hey, just keep telling yourself it's by choice. You may die alone, but it's only because no one else could ever reach your level of perfection right?
tl;dr: Stay that way.
See, this scares me a little bit that someone thought this was lighthearted. I personally think it's poor taste for a public website, maybe for personal banter with your friends that can see past the fact that this stuff is bullshit. It's along the same lines as making a list of "Why all Indians in America work at convenience stores" and adding things like "Where else are they going to rip you off?" While it's true that some people do, and i've had it happen before, that DOESN'T make in universal, much less ANYTHING to be proud of.
First off, after reflecting on this I realized how lucky I am to have a woman in my life that actually communicates. It takes effort on a guy's part to actually do so, but you skip the landmine tango that f*ed communication is.
I'm tired of the BS logic that makes women think stuff like this is ok. Just because we can get thrown in prison for chucking you across the room after you do shit like this to us guys doesn't mean that we don't deal with the same amount of emotional and mental bullsh*t by not being able to trust the people that are supposed to be closest to us.
DO NOT come crying to your friends if someone breaks up with you because you talk to him like he's a f*cking dog that can't understand what you're saying. You'd be surprised. Furthermore, don't think that we aren't capable of understanding your lack of a language: I can understand it, and i know alot of men that can. But it's about RESPECT. If you want it, give it. If you want something to be understood, make sure it's in a way that make sense to them.
And i'm still pissed off at that woman that said that if females said everything that was on thier minds we "wouldn't be able to handle it". That's the definition of CARING. If a guy actually gives a shit about you, he wants to know how your mind works and what you're thinking about. Don't try and beat around the bush, speak english to express your thoughts, guys chill out and listen if she's actually talking to you, and WOMEN STOP TRYING TO THINK WE'RE OXEN, OR WE'LL DO WHAT OXEN DO: SH*T ON YOUR PARADE, MESS UP YOUR HOUSE, GET PISSED OFF, AND PROBABLY HURT SOMETHING.
That is more than nine words, in fact it's twice as many if you count "A Loud Sigh" as a word.
This is just bad communication. Perhaps the women who sympathize with this list should work on their interpersonal skills.
It's not a psych thesis on communicating between the sexes... it's a joke. I think the people who are taking this a little too seriously and getting their panties in a twist are the ones with the real problems.
I thought this was amusing, because in my last relationship, I found myself using some similar expressions. It wasn't out of a desire to be mysterious or confusing, but because the relationship wasn't very good, and it was simply easier to say something like these to end an argument/discussion that was going nowhere and just move on. Trying to communicate had failed enough times that I had stopped bothering, and I ended up sounding a lot like some of these words and "meanings." I can relate and see the humor here.
Fabulous!!
why are women so proud of this list.. you realize that when you say these things it is when men hate you the most..
Good grief!!!!
Have some of you not got a sense of humour!!!
I'm gobsmacked that you are taking this sooooo seriously!!
xx
I wouldn't call the difference in female communication a "game". Most of these become our means of communicating after we have tried to express a point repeatedly. Not that it's men's fault that they don't understand. We just communicate differently.
So that's the way they say F you? I generally hear the traditional. :) Nice post.
This is stereotyping for comedy. It is meant to, and is, funny. Pointing out patterns in humans is funny, because we like to think of ourselves as fluid, and not robotic.
Stereotypes are not bad. Prejudice is. So stop being prejudice, and laugh, gosh darn it.
Come on, HUMOR? When has "I'm fine" ever been a good thing to hear, ever? It's funny. Learn to laugh. Otherwise, how are you going to get past the inevitable communication issues, whatever they are?
men have 2 emotions, hungry and horney! if he aint got an erection make him a sandwich
to the women saying "I wish my man communicated at all!"
It's not easy for us, okay? especially myself.
It's not a choice, I find that when someone wants me to explain what I'm feeling it is just BLANK and I don't know.
But these words are deliberately misleading.
Women can pick up on body language 10 times better than Men can, so we rely on the meaning of the words.
If you use these to communicate... grow up.
...You guys are ridiculous for actually arguing over this. It's funny. Take it at face value and relax a little. It'll be a favor for the rest of us.
I cant believe that there are so many people in the world who have such strong feelings about someone posting something on the internet. Anonymous... the one who said, "Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human." We would probably talk to men like humans if so many of them weren't so dense as this other Anonymous charachter who said "That's why women are only good as flesh sheaths for a man's love stick. They objectify themselves by being worthless." You sir, need to get a grip or else have fun playing with yourself for the rest of your life.
Communication is, like the perception it is based on, a depth unknown. Real communication doen't happen with words a lot because the perception of what eventually gets a point across can be mistaken to the very core. What gets a point across to me might not work for you and vice versa. That said, this was for fun, and people who don't find it so can go read things they find fun. To complain about this or assume things from it is like going to someone else's house, sniffing their toilet, and complaining the place stinks. If it wasn't fun for you, go find a site that is and stop bitching. There are so many other sites.....
[insert loud sigh here]
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