A brand new department store has just opened in London. It sells husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the following instructions:-
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you go up. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.
One day a woman goes into the store and rather nervously starts climbing the stairs.
When she gets to the 1st floor a sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
She thinks, "I can do better than that" and keeps going up.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have jobs and love kids.
But she goes up another floor.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5: These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.
The Husband Store
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20 comments:
Ummm you didn't cover the exchange policy...just sayin'.
But... where would one get a husband that hates kids as much as I do? D: Fail store is fail~
@Z - I think that's an optional extra. ;-)
"Hope said...
Ummm you didn't cover the exchange policy...just sayin'. "
We'll have to assume that the 1979 Sale of Goods Act (as amended) applies. Goods can be returned for repair or replacement in the event that they are faulty or unfit for their intended purpose. The store is not obliged to give a refund if you simply changed your mind
:)
Kid hater ! excellent just call me, i love you already
The owner of the store was not very intelligent. Intelligent people, whether women or men, look at all the options first, before making a decision.
The owner of the store was a misogynist. There were no elevators and the women had to climb up the stairs to find out what was sold at each level. If the owner was not trying to hide something he would list the contents of the floors on the street level Store Directory.
If the men who visit the Wives Store never venture further than the second floor then this would prove that the men who visit this store are lesse intelligent and more impulsive than the women who visit the Husband Store. Only stupid women would want to marry a man like that. I guess this explains why so many marriages fail: the available men are losers.
Hi Gunda,
You've obviously given this a great deal of thought. Do you manage a department store?
And all we had in my hometown was a Walmart... Oklahoma sucks.
@gunda wow, you sure read too much into the 'fun' part of the title :)
Gunda Guy: I'd say the premise of the store is more like a gameshow than a department store. It's like saying Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is prejudiced against stupid people and compulsive gamblers to say that the owner of the store is misogynistic to have a policy such as 'you can only go up the stairs, not down them.' Any store could have such a policy and it would be a gimmick, not misogyny. Imagine if it were just, you know, a store, and at floor 5 everything is top quality and cheap and floor 6 is empty, with the joke that some *people* are impossible to please.
So don't go hatin' on the store owner for the design of his store. You're clearly looking really hard for ways to be offended. The *joke* may be misogynistic, but if you're gonna be offended at gendered humor you probably shouldn't be reading a joke called "The Husband Store." You Darsch.
We nearly went to live in Oklahoma a couple of years ago, now I'm glad we didn't.
Gunda: Get a life. It's called a joke.
And, I'm from Oklahoma. You can also pick wives in Wal-Mart. That is, if you like 300lbs+. Just depends on what you are into.
@Gunda: you spelled "less" wrong. If you are going to fight on the side of intelligence, make sure you're pointing the barrel downrange.
Cute joke. I would have gladly taken "faithful" and worked with the rest.
You forgot sex. I just need them to have a job, help with housework, and be good at sex.
Hey now! I'm from Oklahoma. Um ...
@ all those hating on Gunda Guy...
Ironic how you're all telling him to lighten up. He didn't say he was offended; he simply posted an analytical observation of the details as though they were presented as fact. You suspended your disbelief in the ridiculous premise of the joke, which anyone can do; Gunda Guy read the joke, got the joke, probably laughed at the joke, and then, rather than leaving it at that, decided to further the joke by analysing it as if it were fact.
How do I know this? If he were offended by the joke and criticising it on that basis, he'd have gone after the joke's writer, not the fictitious store owner, a figment of the joke writer's imagination.
All Gudna Guy did was cross analyse a bit of fiction. He developed a personal profile for a non-existent store owner (and some non-existent patrons as well,)not the person who wrote the joke.
In reality, the thought of such a store is ludicrous. In reality it would never happen. Gunda Guy wasn't commenting on reality any more than the joke was.
@ Those people who love to pick out typos and errors on message forums: Seriously, do you proof read everything you post, everywhere, all the time? An A in 2nd grade english don't make you no grammarian skolar. Mind yer own beezwacks!
@ Gunda Guy...
Bravo! LOL! Sorry that so many people failed to see the humour in your analysis.
This is pathetic and misogynist - and good on Gunda for calling it out. Got to love any story ending with the "moral" that women are a bunch of bitches who can't be pleased even by a perfect man. Really takes the responsibility off all the loser husbands out there!
There should be seven floors. Floor six NEEDS to be good at sex. Or floor one.
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