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Interesting words and languages

The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...

If computer problems were real

Try to spot the computing terms.

Scene 2 - Jane and Helen

Scenes from Jane Eyre - filmed in Second Life.

Man loses right to free speech in America - The Onion

Do you know anyone who could fall under this category? (I know I do).

School Reports


Fiona Bruce
"Fiona is interested and responsive, she asks pertinent questions and is not afraid of stating her case"

John Lennon
"Hopeless. Certainly on the road to failure"

Richard Branson
"He will either become a millionaire or go to prison"

Terry Wogan
"If we could just find some way to stop Terry from running away, we might be able to beat some learning into him"

Madonna
"She works hard - but not in a way that gave me hope that she would blend with others"

Jeremy Paxman
"...tediously lackadaisical uncooperativeness"

Hitler
"Moral conduct- very satisfactory"

Sir Winston Churchill
"Does not quite understand the meaning of hard work... he is so regular in his irregularity that I really don't know what to do."

Margaret Thatcher
"Her cheeriness makes her a very pleasant member of her form"

Norman Wisdom
"The boy is every inch a fool but luckily for him he's not very tall"

David Beckham
"He makes good cakes."

Jeffrey Archer
"Archer's essays make me feel like he is destined to be a great story teller or politician."

The news at ton

Try replacing all the "e"s in a paragraph with "o"s see what you come up with.

We need more dawgs

There's a cat in the house. Be a dawg. What a strange man:-

WMD

404 Error message.  This would be funny, if it weren't so tragic  WMD 404 Error Message:-

These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed

The weapons you are looking for are currently unavailable. The country might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspectors mandate.

Please try the following:
  • Click the refresh.gif (82 bytes) Regime change button, or try again later.
  • If you are George Bush and typed the country's name in the address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly. (IRAQ).
  • To check your weapons inspector settings, click the UNmenu, and then click Weapons Inspector Options. On the Security Council tab, click Consensus. The settings should match those provided by your government or NATO.
  • If the Security Council has enabled it, The United States of America can examine your country and automatically discover Weapons of Mass Destruction.
    If you would like to use the CIA to try and discover them,
    click Detect Settings Detect weapons
  • Some countries require 128 thousand troops to liberate them. Click the Panic menu and then click About US foreign policy to determine what regime they will install.
  • If you are an Old European Country trying to protect your interests, make sure your options are left wide open as long as possible. Click the Tools menu, and then click onLeague of Nations. On the Advanced tab, scroll to the Head in the Sand section and check settings for your exports to Iraq.
  • Click the  Bomb button if you are Donald Rumsfeld.

 

Cannot find weapons or CIA Error
Iraqi Explorer

And Then the Fight Started

Our lawn mower broke  and my wife kept hinting that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Phonetic Punctuation

If you have problems with phonetics and English pronunciation, imagine the fun you'd have if you needed to pronounce the punctuation in sentences.




Relationships

Spoonerisms

A spoonerism is an error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched. spoonerism is

And Then the Fight Started

On retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for my pension.  The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age, but I realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.  So I opened my shirt revealing all the curly silver hair on my chest.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my application.

When I got home, I  told my wife what had happened.  She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might have been given a disability pension too.'

And then the fight started.

And Then the Fight Started

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to make love?'

'No,' she answered.  So I said, 'Is that your final answer?'

'Yes,' she replied.

So I said, "I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started.