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Interesting words and languages

The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...

Pronunciation and grammar

If you need an incentive to improve your grammar or pronunciation, watch this video:-

The definition of epic failure

These are genuine answers from exams in the UK:-

Shopping online

Imagine if this happened every time you wanted to buy a loaf of bread.

Attractive Women in the Workplace

Numerous studies have shown that being physically attractive is beneficial for both men and women. Attractive people are generally assumed to be smarter and more competent. But for women, appearance stereotypes can be more complicated, particularly in a business environment.

What does Love mean?

This was sent to me:  From the mouths of babes and sucklings.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?”

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

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“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”

Rebecca- age 8

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“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”

Billy - age 4

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“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”

Karl - age 5

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“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.”

Chrissy - age 6

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“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”

Terri - age 4

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“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”

Danny - age 7

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“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss”

Emily - age 8

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“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

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“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,”

Nikka - age 6

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“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.”

Noelle - age 7

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“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”

Tommy - age 6

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“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”

Cindy - age 8

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“My mommy loves me more than anybody

You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.”

Clare - age 6

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“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”

Elaine-age 5

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“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he's more handsome than Robert Redford.”

Chris - age 7

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“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”

Mary Ann - age 4

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“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”

Lauren - age 4

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“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.”

Karen - age 7

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“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.”

Mark - age 6

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“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”

Jessica - age 8

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And finally — Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said,

“Nothing, I just helped him cry”

Lawyers say the stupidest things

The following questions from lawyers were allegedly taken from official court records:-
Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

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Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

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The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

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Were you alone or by yourself.

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How long have you been a French Canadian?

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Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

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Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

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So you were gone until you returned?

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You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

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Sometimes people actually answer:-




Q: What happened then?

A: He told me, he said, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."

Q: Did he kill you?

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Q. I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.

A: That's me

Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

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Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

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Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?

A: I'll be three months on November 8.

Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?

A: Yes.

Q: What were you doing at that time?

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Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?

A: I used to be.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

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Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there girls?

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Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

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Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose Chapel?

A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?

A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

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And finally:-


A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

Jokes are not universal.



The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says, "Can you make me one with everything".

Obituary

Dear friends,

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following: Please join me in remembering a great icon.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Cap’n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very “smart” cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he — even still, as a crusty old man — was considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes. 

Fans

Can you match the name of the fan club with the name of the band / singer they are following?  Scroll down for the answers.  


1. Fanilows
2. Beliebers

3. Little Monsters
4. Claymates
5. Maggots 
6. Black Stars 
7. Blockheads 
8. Parrotheads
9. The Apple Scruffs 
10. The Victims
11.  Deadheads 
12. The Blue Army 
13. The Kiss Army 

14. RihannaNavy 
15. Grobanites

16.  Juggalo/Juggalette 
17. Katy-Cats
18. Swifties 
19. Killjoys 
20. Sweet Ps – fans of Pia Toscano from American Idol.
21. Barbies
22. Phans
23. Wayniacs
24. Diamond Heads
25. Taylors or Taylor Gang 
Scroll for answers:-



































































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1. Fanilows – fans of Barry Manilow.
2. Beliebers – fans of Justin Bieber.
3. Little Monsters – fans of Lady Gaga. 

4. Claymates – fans of Clay Aiken. 
5. Maggots – fans of Slipknot. 
6. Black Stars – fans of Avril Lavigne.
7. Blockheads – fans of New Kids on the Block. 
8. Parrotheads – fans of Jimmy Buffett.
9. The Apple Scruffs – not just fans of the Beatles.
10. The Victims – fans of the Killers.
11.  Deadheads – fans of the Grateful Dead.
12. The Blue Army – fans of Aerosmith. 
13. The KISS Army – fans of KISS.

14. RihannaNavy – fans of Rihanna.

15. Grobanites – fans of Josh Groban.

16.  Juggalo/Juggalette – fans of Insane Clown Posse. 
17. Katy-Cats – fans of Katy Perry. 
18. Swifties – fans of Taylor Swift. 
19. Killjoys – fans of My Chemical Romance. 
20. Sweet Ps – fans of Pia Toscano from American Idol.
21. Barbies – fans of Nicki Minaj.
22. Phans – fans of Phish
23. Wayniacs – fans of Lil’ Wayne… and also Wayne Newton
24. Diamond Heads – fans of Neil Diamond.
25. Taylors or Taylor Gang – fans of Wiz Khalifa

List source: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/101653#ixzz1ZKwgl6x4 - Click for an explanation of the fan club names.