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Interesting words and languages

The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...

How not to teach English pronunciation

I've not met many Japanese ESL learners, but I have been reliably informed that this is scarily accurate.

Sorry to be mean, but ...

Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Cambridge was born Catherine Elizabeth Middleton. She went to school at St Andrew’s School - then attended Marlborough College in Wiltshire then she studied at the British Institute in Florence, Italy, and in 2005, she graduated with a degree in History of Art from the University of St Andrews in Fife, Scotland. Thousands of pounds worth of education, but I guess she didn't do public speaking. Still it's great for ESL speakers. It's like a learning tape. Come the revolution, she could have a great future.

The most dangerous letter

Which is the most dangerous letter in the English alphabet ?

The answer is "W"...

Why? - Well there you have it - it is tension generator...

Because all 'worries' start with a "W"...

Who??

Why?

What?

When?

Which?

Whom?

Where?

War...

Wine...

Whisky...

Women...

Wealth

And Finally .......

..........

.........

..........

Believe it or not

..........

..........

..........

..........

..........

WIFE..

Mostly

This is probably why "mostly" sounds funny to me:-

Fun with words - Men!

Men - tal illness.
Men - tal breakdown.
Men - ingitis.
Men - ace.
Men - strual cramps.
Men - opause.

Have you ever noticed how so many problems begin with men?

Beer Troubleshooting

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to WC, practise in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with barman.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Stick head out of window.

Life Before the Computer

Once upon a time...

An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age.
A CD was a bank account.
If you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to garbage.
If you unzipped anything in public, it was jail for a while.
Log on was adding wood to a fire.
A hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse was an animal and a mouse pad was where the mouse lived.
A backup happened to your loo.
Cut was something you did with a  knife.
Paste was something you did with glue.
A web was a spider's home.
And a virus was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper and the memory in my head.

I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash, but when it happens they wish they were dead! 

Anonymous