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Interesting words and languages

The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments). Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the ca...

Why did the Computer Cross the Road?



Assembler: First, it builds the road ......

C: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++: Wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.

COBOL: 0001-COMPUTER-CROSSING.Why did the Computer Cross the Road?
   IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
        THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
        VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
        ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
    ELSE
    GO TO 0001-COMPUTER-CROSSING

Cray: Crosses faster than any other computer, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.

Delphi: The computer is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Gopher: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web browser.

Intel Pentium: The computer crossed 4.9999978 times.

Iomega: The computer should have ' backed up' before crossing.

Java: If your road needs to be crossed by a computer, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are tablets.)  See also WMI Monitor.

Linux: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac: No reasonable computer owner would want a computer to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.

Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.

OOP: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

OS/2: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Microsoft: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more it's just bought the road.

NT: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

Quantum Logic: The computer is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

VB: USHighways! (aComputer)

XP Computer Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Longhorn had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.

Windows 7 - Gave up half way across.

Windows 8 - Waiting for Windows 7 to finish crossing.

Android - Is rolling up the road.


The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.

Email Signatures Explained

Originally from Buzzfeed, but cleaned up.

1. Thanks = Well done on reading this whole email.
2. Thanks! = Genuinely amazed you made it all the way through this.
3. Many thanks = Zero thanks.
4. Thank you = I am furious with you.
5. Thx = I think Zayn is my favourite member of 1D.
6. Regards = I really couldn’t care less.
7. Kind regards = I really couldn’t care less, but this is my way of appearing like I could.
8. KR = I couldn’t even be bothered to write the full words, that’s how kind my regards are.
9. Warm regards = If we ever meet I’ll probably try to smell your hair.
10. Warmest regards = your body hair.
11. Sincerely = Insincerely
12. Faithfully = The internet is the hub of all evil and I think the world’s problems would be solved if everyone just wrote handwritten letters.
13. Yours = There’s a picture of you on my pillow.
14. Cheers = Look at how normal I am!
15. Cheers mate = Look at how normal I am, now let’s get down the pub.
16. Ta = I am too busy to write whole words, so this noise shall suffice.
17. Bye = I hate you.
18. Goodbye = I hate everyone.
19. Best wishes = I have to write something here, and this will do.
20. Best = I’m thinking about what I’m going to have for lunch.
21. Very best = I know what I’m going to have for lunch now and I’m super psyched.
22. All the best = BURRITO MINUS 30 MINUTES!
23. [Your name] = I can spell my own name!
24. [Your initials] = I can’t quite spell my own name.
25. :) = This emoticon is happier than I could ever hope to be. Why does no one love me???
26. ;) = I totally would.
27. Laters = I have so much disdain for you that I just made up a word.
28. Looking forward to hearing from you = REPLY IMMEDIATELY.
29. x = I’m flirty.
30. xxx = I’m currently under investigation for an HR violation.
31. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx = I’m not allowed to use scissors.
32. Take it easy = You’ll never see me again.
33. See you soon = Oh god I hope not.
34. Talk soon = See above.
35. Sent from my iPhone = I HAVE AN iPHONE (and more money than sense).
36. Sent from my iPhone so please excuse typos = I HAVE AN iPHONE (and more money than sense, but I can't be bothered to check my mails before pressing SEND).
37. Love = So lonely.
38. Lots of love = So very, very lonely.
39. Write back = Write back, or the cat gets it.
40. TTYL = YSPNTTMABIACAS (You Should Probably Never Talk To Me Again Because I Am Clearly A Sociopath)
41. Take care = I hope you die.

Original Here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/the-41-ways-to-sign-off-an-email-defined