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Tough Interview Questions

Job review company Glassdoor have compiled a list of the toughest interview questions by country. Here are the toughest from the UK for 20...

In tribute to Ronnie Barker - English genius

Best Lines from the Two Ronnies:-

On a packed show tonight, we'll be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who can no longer make ends meet.

The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies.

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

And we will be speaking to the scientist who crossed a yard of ale beer glass with a Chinese vase and a chamber pot, to get a ping-pong-piddle-high-po.

The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow.

Ronnie Corbett (shop assistant): There you are, four candles.
Ronnie Barker: No, fork 'andles! 'Andles for forks!

Ronnie Barker: There now follows a sketch featuring ghosties and ghoulies.
Ronnie Corbett: In which I get caught by the ghosties...
Ronnie Barker: And I get caught by surprise!

Tonight, we'll be asking: "Should all married couples be frank and earnest, or should one of them be a woman..."

"...and we will be speaking to the disillusioned vet who, in James Herriott style, is writing his memoirs, under the working title of 'All Creatures Grunt and Smell'.

Im speaking on behalf of people who have trouble with worms, they can't pronounce their worms properly.

Grecian 2000 have assured greying men that there product will still work after midnight on Millennium eve.

As a butler: Your biscuits, milady", "your crackers, milord"... and "Your sweet, milady", "your nuts, milord"...

Best lines from Porridge:-

We dug another tunnel, and hid the dirt in there.

What have I learned, Mr Mackay? Three things. One - bide your time. Two - keep your nose clean. And three - don't let the bastards grind you down.

Doctor: I want you to fill one of those containers for me.
Fletcher (other side of the room): What, from 'ere?

Fletcher: "My aunt did some missionary work Mr Mackay."
Mr Mackay: "Oh yes Fletcher where was that?"
Fletcher: "Glasgow I think."

Fletcher (In hospital ward): My foot's gone to sleep and I'd like to catch it up.

(Playing Monopoly) Would you Adam and Eve it? Go to jail!

Best lines from Open All Hours:-

Arkwright: Don't just crit there siticising!

Arkwright (who suffered from a stutter): How many Ps in per per per per peppers, six or seven?"

Granville: "This Jamaican ginger cake's not from Jamaica."
Arkwright: "So? We sell Mars bars, don't we?"

Arkwright: What he comes in for is his business. What he goes out with is my business.

As himself:-

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, it's the best job in the world.

Most famous sign off:-

Ronnie Corbett: So it's good night from me...
Ronnie Barker: ...and it's good night from him. Good night!

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