Featured post

Tough Interview Questions

Job review company Glassdoor have compiled a list of the toughest interview questions by country. Here are the toughest from the UK for 20...

Everything's Amazing but Nobody's Happy

Nicholas Cage - The real man inside - literally

The Only Way is Wessex

Thomas Hardy in the style of "The only way is Essex".  Getting a lot of grief from internet savvy critics, but I love it.

Have fun with subtitles

Subtitling TV programmes has become the norm in the UK.  It is a boon for deaf people, and a great source of amusement for others, because they often get it wrong - very wrong.  Here are some of my favourites:-

During the Queen Mother's funeral subtitles called for 'a moment's violence', instead of 'a moment's silence'.

A visit by the Archbishop of Canterbury was announced as a visit by the 'Arch bitch of Canterbury'.

Computer-generated subtitles branded the Labour leader 'Ed Miliband' as 'Ed Miller Band'.

The phrase 'principally chemical and biological weapons' was shown as 'The Prince of Chemical and Bionicle Weapons'.

Subtitles called Italian prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, 'Mr Beryl Beryl'

'Millions of puppies' were sold for Remembrance Sunday last year, instead of 'millions of poppies'.

And my personal favourite, which caused a bit of a stir:-

... pigs 'love to nibble anything that comes into the shed, like our willies,'  the person talking had said wellies.

Valentine's Day Memories - Some swearing

Well - one swear word actually, but some great words to describe disagreements.  See if you can spot them all.

Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."  Henry Kissinger

"Love is being stupid together." Paul Valery

"Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia."  Judith Viorst

"Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch."  Cathy Carlyle

"Falling in love is so hard on the knees."  Aerosmith

"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly."  Rose Franken

"Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, - but not for love."  William Shakespeare

"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." Anonymous

"Like I've always said, love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun." Armistead Maupin

"What the world really needs is more love and less paper work."  Pearl Bailey

"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked."  Erich Segal

"Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker." Anonymous

"Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is." Anonymous

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" Anonymous

Valentine's Day in the UK

If ....

If it's there and you can see it — it's real.
If it's not there and you can see it — it's virtual.
If it's there and you can't see it — it's transparent.
If it's not there and you can't see it — you erased it !

Girls and Boys

Boy: Hi.
Girl: What?
Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: I'm rich.
Girl: Oh, hi!  I'm fine thanks.  How are you?
Boy: No, I'm Rich.  Rich is my name.
Girl: I don't talk to boys.