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Tough Interview Questions

Job review company Glassdoor have compiled a list of the toughest interview questions by country. Here are the toughest from the UK for 20...

Why women love men

We love men because they write poems, songs, and books in our honour.

Because they never understand us, but they never give up.

Because they can see beauty in women when women have long ceased to see any beauty in themselves.

Because they come from little boys.

Because they can churn out long, intricate, Machiavellian, or incredibly complex mathematics and physics equations, but they can be comparably clueless when it comes to women.

Because they elevate sports to religion.

Because they’re never afraid of the dark.

Because they don’t care how they look, or if they age.

Because they persevere in making and repairing things beyond their abilities, with the naïve self-assurance of the teenage boy who knew everything.

Because they never wear or dream of wearing ever higher heels.

Because they’re afraid to go bald.

Because you always know what they think and they always mean what they say.

Because they love machines, tools, and implements with the same ferocity women love jewelry.

Because they go to great lengths to hide, unsuccessfully, that they are frail and human.

Because they either speak too much or not at all to that end.

Because they always finish the food on their plate.

Because they are brave in front of insects and mice.

Because a well-spoken four-year old girl can reduce them to silence, and a beautiful 25-year old can reduce them to slobbering idiots.

Because they want to be either omnivorous or ascetic, warriors or lovers, artists or generals, but nothing in-between.

Because for them there’s no such thing as too much adrenaline.

Because they’re truly as simple as they claim to be.

Because they love extremes and when they go to extremes, we’re there to catch them.

Because they are tender they when they cry, and how seldom they do it.

Because what they lack in talk, they tend to make up for in action.

Because they make excellent companions when driving through rough neighbourhoods or walking past dark alleys.

Because they really love their mothers, and they remind us of our dads.

Because they never care about what their horoscope, their mother-in-law, or the neighbours say.

Because they don’t lie about their age, their weight, or their clothing size.

Because they have an uncanny ability to look deeply into our eyes and connect with our heart, even when we don’t want them to.

Because when we say “I love you” they ask for an explanation.

Because they could never fake an orgasm, even if they wanted to.

Because when all is said and done, they can’t live without us, no matter how hard they try.

Everything Gives you Cancer

Now, this might not seem funny, and I know cancer is no laughing matter, but give me a chance to explain. The Daily Mail is a red top newspaper in the UK which is infamous for printing scaremongering stories, Russell Howard has put into song the things the Daily Mail claims can cause cancer. First shown on Russel Howard's Good News on BBC Three.

Age, air, alcohol, aspirin and calcium.
Ham, honey, eggs, dogs, dieting and soup.  
Being a woman, being a man, bubble bath, and food from cans.
Being black, wearing bras, left-handedness, and speedy cars.
Oestrogen, climate change, babyfood, the menopause.
Beef, beer, pizza, pork, cereal, and worcester sauce.
Childlessness, children, vitamins and bacon.
Chocolate, retirement, deoderant and facebook 

The Mail says that these cause cancer, but it's only rumours that they give you tumours.  
They've got some big balls to print it,
`Cos it's 60 pages of scary bullshit!

Fun with poetry

Why falling in love is like owning a dog:-

American Politics Spoof

Some great words here:  boombox - rollerskating - honey - smooth moves - tag